Identity

My mother and I

My mother and I are very different people, but we always made it work. This is the way I explain our relationship to people: If you've ever seen the Gilmore Girls, she and I are literally Rory and Lorelai Gilmore.

My mother and I are very different people, but we always made it work. This is the way I explain our relationship to people: If you’ve ever seen the Gilmore Girls, she and I are literally Rory and Lorelai Gilmore.

When you’re an only child of a single parent, it is such a different dynamic, because you’re just all each other has.

She hates it, but I always joke that we raised each other. I mean, I was such a little adult. I think I came out of the womb a woman. We were each other’s confidantes—best friends. When you’re an only child of a single parent, it is such a different dynamic, because you’re just all each other has.

When my mother had me she was 20, so she was fairly young. She went back to night school a couple of years after she had me and made the decision to become a nurse. She always loved helping people. She originally wanted to become a vet. This was a really good way for her to live out her purpose and also have a career in which she could really provide for me and herself. As I grew up, it was really great to see my mother go to night school, have goals and really set out to achieve them.

My mother’s a nurse now. Oh my gosh, I guess it’s been15 or 20 years. Now, she runs a floor at the hospital. It’s scary right now because of coronavirus, and that obviously puts her at a much greater risk. Unfortunately, I can’t go home, because we have to isolate ourselves from each other. But I’m just so proud of her because it’s such a beautiful testament to the sacrifices she made back then and even the ones she makes today for others.

Do you want children of your own?

Growing up, I definitely didn’t think I wanted children. Looking back, I think I saw how hard it was for my mother to raise me, and I guess I assumed that this was going to be my feeling. That I would have similar circumstances and feel those same struggles. So, I didn’t want to have a child and put them through that same cyclical struggle. Now that I’m older, and have been able to pull myself out of that situation. I’m in this place of being able to provide, not only for myself but also for others. To be able to have nice things and eventually save up for the wedding of my dreams. I’m definitely excited at the prospect of becoming a mother. I have actually been working with this fertility startup and got one of their kits.

The education system doesn’t really talk to us about how hard it is to actually have a baby.

I’m really excited to understand more about fertility because I think that’s something that I’m finding women, in general, don’t know a lot about. For me, knowledge is power. Everything that I do, I want to learn. I want to know so much. I think the education system doesn’t really talk to us about how hard it is to actually have a baby. Or how to plan to have a baby, and what that looks like. So, for me, even though it’s probably in the distant future, I’m just really excited about knowing where I’m at and what my options are so that I can really feel like I have a choice in that.